The Wild Ewt of the Plains of Canada ([personal profile] ewt) wrote2004-01-27 10:22 pm

(no subject)


According to Webster's Dictionary, drama is "a state, situation or series of events involving intense conflict or force." Passion, on the other hand, is defined as "a devotion to some activity, object or concept."

Do you live your life in drama or passion? Are you attracting partners who live in drama or passion?

A life filled with drama looks something like this:
* Everything gets a huge, emotional response.
* The emotional response is often followed by a big action.
* Peace is seldom experienced and often much wished for.
* Life is either really great or very terrible.
* Relationships, work and life in-general feel like a roller coaster.
* There is a general feeling of being drained.

A life filled with passion looks something like this:
* Emotions run deep and grow in intensity over time.
* Actions are thought out and lead toward the object of passion.
* Peace coexists with elation and excitement.
* Life is good, even when it's filled with ups and downs.
* Relationships, work and life feel balanced.
* There is a general feeling of being energized.

Can you see how living with passion is infinitely better than living with drama? Can you see how much more you can accomplish, experience and love when living with passion?

Sometimes these two states are difficult to distinguish. Both have intense emotions and activity associated with them. Many times people are attracted to potential partners because they are looking for passion, but they miss this distinction and end up with drama. If you are attracting people who are living with drama instead of passion, examine whether you are doing the same thing.

What can you do if you are living with drama right now?

Whenever you feel like reacting to a situation -- whether in your relationship or otherwise -- stop. Take a walk. Breathe. Talk to yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Is this as important as it seemed a few minutes ago?
2. Is my reaction appropriate for this situation?
3. What am I feeling?
4. What is my biggest concern here?
5. What do I really want out of this situation?
6. How do I need to act in order to get what I want?
7. Is what I want possible?
8. Why do I want this?
9. What are my needs that I need to care for right now?
10. What is the truth that I need to communicate?

It is fairly easy to break the cycle of drama. It takes a deep decision to live your life differently and the willingness to be peaceful no matter what.

Interestingly enough, once you give up the drama, your current and future partners will seem to have given it up as well.

May your passion burn brightly!

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002.


Relationship Truths

More from Renatta Paries' What It Takes

This week I pondered the many lessons and concepts my clients and I have learned during my coaching career. Before long, I had compiled a useful list of important and valuable relationship truths. If you apply any one of these truths, you are certain to see an immediate improvement in the quality of your relationships. Please take what applies to you and incorporate it into your life to create a relationship you cherish.

* It's your job to educate your partner about how to treat you so you feel loved.

* Communication doesn't mean talking. It means sharing.

* Infidelity is the surest way to destroy a relationship.

* Generosity is rarely about money or things. It's mostly about heart.

* Until you resolve your past, you are not free to have a future.

* What people do to you is rarely about you and is almost always about their unresolved past. Don't take it personally.

* Until you realize that a great relationship is created by who you are, you won't have one.

* Until you love yourself enough to take care of your needs, no one else will.

* If you feel empty, a relationship will most likely make you feel even emptier.

* Compassion for your partner goes a long way in getting what you want.

* Sexual intimacy has very little to do with attractiveness and everything to do with emotional intimacy and trust.

* Women rarely appreciate money and assistance as a substitute for emotional intimacy.

* If your partner continuously says, "There is nothing wrong with me. Our problems are all your fault," get help.

* This is not a dress rehearsal - this is your life and your relationships in progress. Start creating your life the way you want it to be today.

* You are not your parents. There is no reason your relationship or life should look like theirs.

* It's much easier to be yourself than to be what you think others want you to be.

* Even when someone loves you more than life itself, they will still look out for their interests first.

* Being a people-pleaser is not an effective way to create good relationships. It is an effective way to get taken advantage of.

* If you always take care of someone, you take away their power. They will resent you for it.

* Supporting men financially takes away their self esteem. Give them moral support instead.

* The best relationships are partnerships.

* If you get to be right most of the time and make your partner take all of the blame, you will end up alone.

* A relationship with a foundation of dishonesty is like a house of cards.

* Grass only looks greener on the other side.

* You may secretly wonder if there isn't a better partner out there. This is your mind's way of communicating that you are dangerously close to real intimacy with your current partner.

* If your partner says he is willing to grow and change, don't test him. Support him in his commitment.

* Emotional maturity is knowing when you are overreacting. Stop and take care of your needs so you can get back in balance.

* What you think you want is often not what you really want, but rather a sideways plot to get your needs met.

* If you ask, very often you will receive.

* Communication means two-way understanding, not one-way accusing.



(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] technomom for putting this up.

See also here.

[identity profile] ali-in-london.livejournal.com 2004-01-27 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
That is very good advice indeed. I especially like the description of the difference between drama and passion.

[identity profile] arkady.livejournal.com 2004-01-27 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
So, my life is dramatic but my relationship is passionate....

[identity profile] kitty-goth.livejournal.com 2004-01-28 05:19 am (UTC)(link)
American pseudo-deep sanctimonious tree-hugging hippie crap.

(Just My Opinion, of course)

K