Nobody here but us chickens... and dog and cats and rabbits and people.

[ewt]

Chicken Central so far continues to be good. The boiler is fixed now, so I have glorious warmth in the bedroom and nearly-warm-warmth in the rest of the house. I've found which window has been left open this year, but haven't been able to get the thing shut; later I'll stuff it with blankets or bubblewrap or something. I know that the Chicken Lady prefers to have good ventilation, but to my mind the house is already adequately ventilated (read: leaky) without doing things like leaving windows an inch open all winter.

Egg output so far: two on Tuesday, three on Wednesday, none today yet (maybe it was too early for them? Or too cold last night, it's getting nippy).

Tuesday night Neil brought in a mouse. This is a Great Honour, because usually he hides for the first three or four days I am here, and this year he is not only not hiding, he has brought me wonderful food! He was even going to let me kill it myself so that I could know it was really fresh. Problem: I'm terrified of mice. I was very grateful at this point for the presence of hairyears, who posted the cat (still holding mouse in its mouth) back out through the cat flap. Neil thought this was a wonderful game and came back in two minutes later with, um, a mouse. Still. This time he was physically carried out the door and some way into the back garden.

Tonight I will be here on my own. While I am grateful to be assured that the cats are good mousers, I really hope that they leave any further 'gifts' outside. I've been told that Buttons has been bringing in dead rats. It wouldn't surprise me - that cat will chase and kill anything, even things that are not there - but I really, really do not want to have to deal with it.

If I ever live alone again, I'm not having pets at the same time. I definitely need a not-squeamish housemate if I have animals who bring in rodents, and I'm very much against having indoor-only cats.

All the animals want to eat everyone else's food. The cats want the dogfood, and are always up for a scrap of bread if I'm having toast, though I never feed the animals from the table. The dog is more interested in the cat food and the chicken food than in her own food (which requires some preparation each morning). The chickens are always very interested in the dog's food (which almost never contains chicken), and even more entranced by the rabbit food. The rabbits tried to eat my wellies this morning, which doesn't quite count. Yesterday morning I filled their food bowl and they promptly overturned it. I think if I let them out they'd go after the chicken food, but I know if I let them out the dog will just chase them around the garden all day. If I work by a simple one-animal-one-vote system, the dogfood wins simply because there are eight chickens; they outnumber the rest of us.

And really, can I blame them?
The rabbits get:
-special rabbit food (the chickens LOVE this)
-greenstuffs from the kitchen and from next door

The chickens get:
-scraps from the kitchen and next door
-special chicken feed
-special high-calcium marine shell stuff so their eggshells are strong

The cats get:
-goodness knows what, the Chicken Lady makes their food. It's in little bags in the freezer and I take some out every night to defrost, and in the morning I feed itto the cats with some hot water and brewer's yeast flakes. Buttons' coat is improving wonderfully since this new diet was started, so it must have something good in it. It smells fishy, which is no surprise.

The dog gets:
-rice/bread (but not too much white bread)/potatoes
-leftover vegetable soup/chullent
-beans if none in soup
-salmon
-molasses
-brewer's yeast tablet
-sage
-rosemary
-garlic
-salt and pepper
-olive oil
-asafoetida and fenugreek (keeps the fleas down)
-whatever leftovers can't be given to the rabbits and chickens
all mixed up in hot water, twice a day. She also gets carrots separately for being good; I think the carrots are her favourite. She won't eat mushrooms at all.

I eat:
-eggs on toast
-pasta with butter
-milk and cereal
-soup
-rice

So, yes. My diet is more varied than that of the aminals but it sometimes takes rather less preparation.

Comments

[devvie.livejournal.com]

LOL...I just love the way you describe things. :D

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

Actually, I had intended to hold Neil gently but firmly over the bin and point firmly downward saying 'DROP IT'. Unfortunately, it was a dark and rainy night and I wasn't going clattering down a cluttered alley to find the bin in my slippers. So the garden it was, then.

There was also the possibility that the cat would love the new game and chase the mouse around the bin, returning to the house, with the mouse, beautifully-scented, affectionate and thoroughly delighted with himself.

The other solution was to drop the mouse onto a shovel and do a graceful toss-and-lob tennis backhand into orbit. Do it right and it doesn't bother the neighbours: it bothers the neighbors' neighbours' neighbours and who cares a flying Fv@# (or flying furry felching acccessory) about distant strangers in suburban London? Hell, if it lands in Hampstead, they might even enjoy it. Unfortunately the mouse was still alive and, while I'm not squeamish, I'm not cruel either and that's not a clean kill. However, if it's still alive it'll have more sense than to venture out in a cat's hunting territory.

Hope you have a squeak-free night.

[ewtikins.livejournal.com]

Actually, I had intended to hold Neil gently but firmly over the bin and point firmly downward saying 'DROP IT'.

Hahahahahahaha. This is a cat we're talking about here, not a dog. Issuing commands ("COME HERE." "SIT." "DROP MOUSE.") is fairly pointless. Why should it do what you, or anyone else, tells it to?

I don't know what happened down the garden, but it occurred to me today that a cat is probably not going to drop a mouse whilst being held by a human, simply because then it can't guarantee catching the thing again, and why spoil the fun if the humans will eventually get bored?

It being Neil, the best way to get him to drop the mouse would probably been to have offer salmon; this rewards the bringing-mice-into-the-house behaviour in a rather hopeless way, though.

Unfortunately, it was a dark and rainy night and I wasn't going clattering down a cluttered alley to find the bin in my slippers.

I really wish that Doctor Chicken Lady would sort out an outside light at the side of the house. Failing that, a torch with batteries that aren't dead would be good.

[pfy.livejournal.com]

"COME HERE." "SIT." "DROP MOUSE."

OPEN TRAP DOOR. DOWN. TURN LANTERN ON.

Failing that, a torch with batteries that aren't dead would be good.

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

[ewtikins.livejournal.com]

I can't see the Gnome of Zurich anywhere! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zork)

[hennes.livejournal.com]

I used to love it when our cat(s) would bring home food for me. Disposing of them was a less pleasant task though. Still, it seem that you have been accepted by Neil and that you are welcomed back :)