(no subject)

[ewt]

[Poll #1079124]

Comments

[spangle-kitten.livejournal.com]

When it comes to positive negative thinking I generally think the worst is going to happen but make an effort to try and acheive the positive. Then I'm all happy when it does work out all right.
I know people who think negatively and make no effort to be positive and then of course it goes wrong! Equally I know people who think super positive who get very upset when things don't go as planned. So actually I am quite a positive thinker, but in a sense that thinks negative and acts positive...and when things go wrong try to think "well at least it didn't go even worse..."!

I also think that people can change and can become better people and learn positive attitutes, but many don't because it involves being selfless, which many people are incapable of being. Hense answers being "true, to a degree"

[redshira.livejournal.com]

My answers make me look like a terrible doomer, but my attitude is generally "prepare for the worst, hope for the best".

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

ITYM "pragmatist". Surely calling yourself a "doomer" makes you a pessimist!

[redshira.livejournal.com]

Yes, pragmatist is probably a better word for it, but people will insist on calling me a pessimist. Mainly because though I hope for the best, I don't usually believe it'll turn out that way.

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

They're not considering the whole context: If things do go wrong, then it'll be you who'll be the optimist, and they who will be running around like headless chickens.

[redshira.livejournal.com]

Exactly :) I'm glad someone else sees it that way. My mum accused me of "panicking" about Peak Oil the other day, and I tried in vain to point out that panicking is the precise opposite of what I'm doing - I am preparing, and even if things don't turn out the way I'm expecting it's still good to have a more sustainable lifestyle, the skills I'm learning, and the emergency measures in place which can be used in other situations.

[lethargic-man.livejournal.com]

Exactly :) I'm glad someone else sees it that way. My mum accused me of "panicking" about Peak Oil the other day, and I tried in vain to point out that panicking is the precise opposite of what I'm doing - I am preparing, and even if things don't turn out the way I'm expecting it's still good to have a more sustainable lifestyle, the skills I'm learning, and the emergency measures in place which can be used in other situations.

Good for you. I'm not preparing in the way you are, but I appreciate that if it all goes belly up, I'll be stuck. The closest I got to any of that kind of preparation was stocking up on some tinned food before Y2K (completely useless, as I ended up spending it staying with papersky in Swansea), and psyching myself up to cycling to work five days a week, or possibly working a bit from home, rather than taking the Tube come the next flu pandemic.

Note that's "when", not "if"—just because it's a been a while since the next pandemic is no reason to expect the cycle of periodic pandemics has been broken. Same with an asteriod strike—not the once a geological blue moon dinosaur killer the media use to scare people, but the once a century or more citykiller, of the sort that have in the last few centuries struck empty land in Siberia, Saudi Arabia and the South Pacific (and killed thousands of cattle in South America), but which, on today's crowded Earth (http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/image/0610/earthlights02_dmsp_big.jpg), it is only a matter of time before one strikes a densely inhabited region.

A decade ago I was determined to live five hundred years (I appreciated I might have spent some time frozen in the middle while the tech caught up). That kind of attitude gives you the long-term view, when it's not a case of screwing up the Earth and leaving your descendants to sort out the mess, but messing up your own future...

[alysbowie.livejournal.com]

Compassionate thinking, calm thinking, etc. often only come after making immense effort to recognize your thoughts for what they are (if they are negative), and consciously looking to change them. (For example, there was a period where I found myself feeling more miserable and just generally negative. I'd read in a book that you could consciously change your thoughts, and replace negative thoughts with good ones in a way to sort of 'reprogram' your mind... well, I don't know how well it works for everyone, but it did help me become more aware of how my thoughts were affecting my moods.)

My father always says that thinking positive is great, but you should also have a healthy cynicism.

[403.livejournal.com]

Both optimism and pessimism are useful depending on ones' circumstances. For some far-end examples, optimism is useful in emergency survival situations (the second most important factor being shared bodily warmth), and pessimism is useful in engineering design ('cause if you know every little thing that can go wrong, you can prepare for them at least a little).

The success of the "nice guy" strategy depends on the circumstances that one finds oneself in. Cooperative situations generally reward being nice (at least to a select set of people), while individual-scale competitive situations generally do not.

[crankles.livejournal.com]

I didn't know how to answer the question about nice guys, because this sentence (ending with "finish last") is often uttered by a particular type of guy who thinks he's nice, but is actually trying to live up to a stereotype in hopes of getting female attention, and he's bitter when they sense his inauthenticity and don't buy it.

In general, I think positive thinking is imperative, but repressing your feelings and calling it optimism is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. Sadly, I know this from painful experience. When I think of optimism, I am thinking of the choice to react to events in a proactive, non-victim way while still allowing yourself room to acknowledge any negative feelings.

[poetpaladin.livejournal.com]

Naw, it's not nice guys versus assholes.

It's assholes (lie, cheat, abusive), good guys (tough, but fair), and losers (who think they're "nice guys").

[liv]

Probably the biggest thing that recharges my batteries is: physical touch. Sex will do if I can't get any other kind, but really what grounds me is hugs and general affectionate touch. Maybe that's a subset of quiet time with loved ones, but it seems like a different thing to me.

I'm really crap at meditation in general, so I don't use it as a stress control thing. I have to deal with stress by distracting myself, because I can't directly make my mind behave when it's in a bad place. But I can forget about the thing that is making me stressed if I have something else to occupy my mind, and that is an adequate substitute.

[ewtikins.livejournal.com]

Probably the biggest thing that recharges my batteries is: physical touch. Sex will do if I can't get any other kind, but really what grounds me is hugs and general affectionate touch.

I can't believe I missed this out, because it's incredibly important to me as well.

I do get prickly about touch if I don't feel I can trust people, though; it has to be affectionate touch from someone I love and trust, otherwise I just spend more energy trying to put up barriers.

Half Empty / Half Full

[gafferbear.livejournal.com]

My glass is neither half empty or half full; it is twice as large as it needs to be. This third option is the "Realist's" option; the glass being half empty of full tells us about its contents, but not the glass itself.

One of my therapists, several years ago, offered me the following gem, and I offer it to you, because I answered that positive thinking is usually helpful and also unrealistic, and that negative thinking is realistic and a hindrance:

"Depressed people more often have an accurate view of reality than happy people. Happy people are often deluding themselves far more efficiently than depressed people."

Is there room for a balance?

Re: Half Empty / Half Full

[ewtikins.livejournal.com]

My stance on whether the glass is half empty or half full has traditionally been that it depends whether one is drinking or pouring...

[harlicat.livejournal.com]

Hmmm what an interesting poll..